Introducing: No Name Given

Welcome to the future of gaming! Seriously, No Name Given features truly revolutionary game play and graphics. It’s also apparently both fun and addicting. Trust me, I’m a guy wearing underpants. I know my business.

 

Set to release sometime between now and never, No Name Given will retail for $1.99. There will also be a Super Limited Edition available for $69.99, which will change every red texture into a blue texture.

 

But, just what exactly do you do in No Name Given? Well, that’s simple! Nothing! You’re destined to simply sit down on a chair, watching as absolutely nothing happens on your screen –  all rendered in beautiful 1080p HD! Oh, and don’t even get me started on the frame rate. BAM! 30 frames per second, yo!

But  no, seriously. You jump. This is a jumping game. You have to land on platforms without falling off said platforms, or else you die.

Exciting!